Category Lessons
Ambulance lessons: Who cares?
First responders tend to be young, or significantly younger than I. They tend to be male, with a few exceptions. They tend to behave calmly, purposefully, and responsively–despite whatever panic, confusion, and pain they confront. My most recent ride in the big red truck with lights flashing and sirens wailing reminded me of the traits […]
Springing back to basics: Food and care
Winter’s end represented a transitional phase for us. The seasons turned and so did our lives, just a bit. Spouse recovered from a two-month siege of digestive disorders. Mom recovered from a three-month period of injury healing. Once those two events transpired, I succumbed to my first cold in three years. The price paid for […]
Riding demographic tides
I failed. I forgot to pay our real estate tax. I didn’t show up for my haircut appointment. I transposed the times and days when Mom’s home health aide would arrive, so needlessly sent Spouse to a dicy medical appointment alone. These are just a few examples of my failures lately. A friend, who herself had […]
Pushing Mom around: In a good way
It was my mother who introduced me to the idea that she and I had reversed roles. That was many years ago, when my father was still alive, and before I thought of myself as a caregiver. We were on an errand–going to a medical appointment. I drove, then helped her into her transport chair. As […]
Declaring dependence: In the course of human life
Dependence has a bad reputation. Maybe it is inherently bad to have to depend on others; dependence makes us vulnerable. Yet, hasn’t mutual dependence allowed humanity to flourish–given us an evolutionary advantage? Isn’t the imperative to care for one another part of a cross-culturally sanctioned social contract? The notion that children and the sick or […]
At all costs: Clinging to independence
I feel entitled to the following opinion: independence is highly overrated in our society. After nearly 20 years of caregiving to varying degrees, I’m dedicated to the notion of preparing for my own increasing dependence on others. My first encounters with advice about caregiving for parents came from two books I bought during the early […]
Cape Cod caregiver 