Springing back to basics: Food and care

Winter’s end represented a transitional phase for us. The seasons turned and so did our lives, just a bit. Spouse recovered from a two-month siege of digestive disorders. Mom recovered from a three-month period of injury healing. Once those two events transpired, I succumbed to my first cold in three years. The price paid for allowing myself to be sick for a whole week is that I passed the cold along to Mom. Spouse was spared. My virus-induced hiatus yielded some pleasant results. One result of being conscious, but less active than usual, was that I had more time to think, rather than do. That led to some clarity about caregiving, care needing, and what matters: basic things, like food.

GETTING FOOD

We’re fortunate to be able to afford food and have access to a seemingly endless variety of food choices. During the past winter, however, getting food into our house was problematic. Spouse was ill much of the time and Mom can’t be left alone. The solution was home delivery. I had used the service several years ago, when Mom and Dad were living independently, but hit a rough patch. The service worked well. The delivery charge was reasonable. The online shopping process was in many ways more efficient and even cost-effective than store shopping. The items delivered, including produce, were well-selected and undamaged, including eggs. In February, we began what has continued to be an every-two-weeks ritual of ordering food online for home delivery.

CHOOSING FOOD

We’ve become increasingly aware of the relationship between food choices and our health. Several of Mom’s chronic conditions require monitoring fat, fiber, and sugar. Several of Spouse’s acute, but repeating, conditions require monitoring fat, fiber, and salt. Both Mom and Spouse have been hospitalized since last summer for emergency conditions directly traceable to diet. For them, negative consequences of bad food choices are not just long term; they can be immediate. Negative consequences are not largely undetectable; they can be excruciating. Accordingly, over the past months, we’ve needed to produce contradictory menus: high fiber for Mom, low for Spouse. Food choices also revolve around shifting appetites, convenience, and shelf life. Will we be able to peel, chop, cook, and eat that fresh veggie before it spoils?

SHARING FOOD

I recall trying to find allowable foods when Dad was recovering from heart surgery. He liked the low-sodium version of a juice that I thought was nutritious. Then we learned that it was high-potassium, contraindicated for a patient with kidney disease, as well. I also recall returning home from visiting Dad in the hospital with a well-meaning relative. She wanted to bring a treat for Mom. As she perused the snack aisle, she fretted over chemical ingredients. I thought the fat-and-sugar content represented a more immediate threat to Mom, the diabetic heart attack survivor. Another relative appeared at my parents’ house bearing all-natural shakes to give as treats, rich and sweet. Incidents like these over the years sensitized me to the competing goods or threats that foods can represent, as well as the social trickiness that can be involved in gifting food to others.

PREPARING FOOD

Back when Dad was Mom’s caregiver while managing his own conditions, he juggled a number of food-related problems and solutions. He accepted the occasional delivery mentioned above. When he was declared legally blind and relinquished his driver’s license, he used public or senior transport to shop. He and Mom enrolled in the Meals-on-Wheels program. Still, he needed to produce most of their meals. As a low-vision consumer, he had trouble reading prices in stores, labels or expiration dates on products, and directions for preparation. Getting food from the driveway to the kitchen wasn’t easy for him. Opening packages could be tricky. Matching meals to medication requirements was complex. This drug mustn’t be taken with food, that one must be taken with food. This drug can’t be taken with certain food. Those two drugs can’t be taken at the same time. Spouse had similar food-and-drug interactions to manage this winter.

TAKING CARE WITH FOOD

Food is a necessity. Getting, choosing, sharing, and preparing food are basic routines in our lives. In the caregiving context, however, food becomes part of a complicated matrix logistically, nutritionally, socially, and medically.